


Everything’s Okay

by Shota_cat



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Connor Needs A Hug, Evan Needs a Hug, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, References to Suicide, Suicidal Thoughts, im bad at tagging, references to self harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2020-01-13 13:29:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18469924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shota_cat/pseuds/Shota_cat
Summary: Evan didn’t lay there on the ground when he broke his arm. (At least not for too long).Basically Connor and Evan bonding.





	Everything’s Okay

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Dear Evan Hansen, including its plot and characters.

Evan loves his job. Not only does he get to be around trees all day, but he doesn’t have to deal with people that much, because the park wasn’t necessarily popular. On this particular day the park was practically empty, which was just what he needed.

The sun beat down on Evan’s neck as he looked up at the tall beech tree. This was it. This was the day he would finally go through with his plan. Sure he had some things to live for, like his mother, but the cons of living heavily outweighed the pros. 

He starts climbing. It’s a perfect sunny day, and he can feel the heat of the sun shining on his face. 

‘Don’t look down.’ He tells himself. ‘You’re not backing out now.’ The thought of disappearing was exhilarating. He would never have to fake one of those stupid letters again, he would never have another awkward interaction again, and he would never have to come out to his mom.

Well, that was one of his regrets after leaving the house today. He wished he tied up all of the loose ends, but Evan can’t stop now that he finally has the courage to follow through.

He’s almost at the top of the tree now. Evan closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. 

He lets go.

The next thing Evan knows he is flying. His arm hits a branch, which hurts like hell. No, he’s definitely falling. When he hits the ground, all he can see is black. Then, he opens his eyes.

Well that didn’t work.

His arm is on fire. Next time, he thinks, he’ll have to climb higher. ‘Pathetic.’ He reprimands himself in his head. ‘You can’t even kill yourself right.’ He then realizes that he is on the ground in the middle of Ellison State Park and in a lot of pain. 

“Help! Someone! I’m- I’m here.” Evan calls out weakly. Minutes go by. No one comes to his aid. ‘Someone has to come.’ Evan told himself. ‘Any second now. Any second they’re going to come.’ Even more time passes, and Evan is about to lose hope. He closes his eyes. Why couldn’t his suicide attempt have worked?

Evan’s eyes snap open as he feels the cool metal of a ring-clad hand touch his arm. He cries out in pain, and looks down at the hand, whose nails were pained with chipped black nail polish. He looks up and realizes that the owner of the hand is none other than Connor Murphy, the guy that Jared bullied all the time last year. Evan sighed and realized that he would be lucky if Connor didn’t leave him here alone to suffer.

“Shit, are you okay?” Connor asks, and then realizes the stupidity of his question, seeing that Evan’s arm is bent in a way that is extremely unnatural. “Sorry, uh, dumb question.” 

Evan looks into Connor’s eyes, and notices how pretty he is near all of the trees. Evan then realizes that was a dumb observation and he had to get to a hospital now.

“Can you walk?” Connor questions, the panic in his eyes still very prominent. Evan tries to get up, but the bruising already starting to form all over his body is making it very difficult. Much to Evan’s surprise, Connor doesn’t hesitate to scoop him up in his arms. 

“You’re really light.” Connor comments as he walks Evan to his car and opens the door to the passenger seat. With much difficulty, Evan gets in the car and buckles his seatbelt. Connor quickly enters and starts the car, not bothering with his seatbelt. He begins to drive to the hospital, significantly over the speed limit, Evan notices. 

“What were you doing at the park?” Connor tries to make conversation. Why is the hospital so far away? Connor suddenly realizes something. “Shit, uh, do you want to call anyone? Like, your parents or something?”

Evan sighs. “My mom is in class right now. I’ll call her when we get to the hospital.” After a moment of silence, Evan decides to answer Connor’s first question. “I- uh, I work there. I like... trees.” He finishes softly. Connor stares at him for a second, but doesn’t bring up how weird it is to like trees. “Why were you there? I mean, I’m glad you were.” Evan gives a nervous laugh. “Or else I would still be lying on the ground.”

Connor thinks for a minute before he replies. “I was arguing with my family, so I got in the car and I just started driving, I guess.” He brushes a strand of hair from his face. “The park’s just kind of where I ended up.” Evan blushed as he realized he had been staring at Connor. 

They finally got to the hospital, and an hour later Connor was sitting in a room at the hospital with Evan (who was sporting a new bulky cast) and Evan’s mother, who was frantically rambling at both of them.

“Why were you climbing a tree? I thought there were other people around you! What if Connor didn’t come when he did? What if-“ she was cut off by a nurse shooing then out of the room. 

“Schedule an appointment so we can check in with Evan’s injury, okay?” The nurse looked tired. They go to the front, and Evan and Connor sit together in the waiting room seats as Heidi schedules the next appointment.

“Do you want me to sign your cast?” Connor asks, looking around the room. Evan nods his head and Connor gets up to steal a sharpie from the reception desk.

“I mean, you don’t have to if you don’t want to. It’s fine, we just met, I-“ Evan’s rambling is cut off when Connor writes his name on Evan’s cast in huge letters that cover the entire front of his arm. 

“Now we can both pretend that we have friends.” Connor claims jokingly. Seeing the brief moment of hurt flash through Evan’s eyes confused him. They had just met, it’s not like-

His train of thought is cut off when Evan grabs his arm and writes a string of numbers on the back of his hand. He quickly pries Evan’s fingers from his forearm, wincing internally. Evan pretends not to notice this.

“If you want to try, like, actually being friends?” Evan’s face goes pale as he realizes what he’s done. “I mean it’s fine we don’t have to like be friends or anything, I just thought since I’m lonely and you seem lonely and- ugh I’m so sorry I’ll... I’ll just go away now. Sorry.” 

“Wait.” Connor seems ...amused? He grins wolfishly at Evan. “I mean, I have nothing better to do than spam you with texts, so I guess we can try.” He puts his arm on Evan’s leg, and Evan feels like he’s going to faint. All of a sudden, Connor gets a serious look on his face. “But I get pretty angry sometimes” Well, Connor thinks, if that isn’t the understatement of the year. Evan probably remembers back to the printer incident in elementary school “but if I ever lash out at you, you have to leave. Okay? I don’t want to hurt you.”

Before Evan can respond, Heidi comes to get them and they start walking to the parking lot. 

“Thanks so much for taking care of Evan, Connor. I mean it.” Heidi smiles and takes Evan’s good hand in hers. Connor gives another half-smile and walks to his car.

——————————————

A month later.

Connor had seemed different for a while, and Evan had been worrying nonstop. They had grown closer as they endured the hell that they called school together, but Evan could tell that something was still wrong. 

Connor had been secluding himself from society even more than usual, and he even stopped answering Evan’s texts. Evan knew that Connor’s relationship with his family was shaky at best, and he knew that the bruises that Connor occasionally came to school with were not from getting into fights like he claimed they were.

His drug habit had worsened, and Evan really wanted to confront him about it, because that’s what friends do. 

It was Wednesday afternoon and they were both in school. It was raining outside, and the deafening noise of the cafeteria was doing nothing to lift Evan’s spirits. Suddenly, Evan saw a kid sprint into the bathroom. Not just any kid, he realized. Connor. 

Evan hastens to follow him, and when he gets to the bathroom, Connor is vomiting into a toilet. He nervously knocks on the open stall door as to not startle Connor by speaking. 

“Connor? Con, what’s wrong?” Evan kneels down to hold Connor’s long hair back. 

“I’m- it’s just- everything is just too much.” Connor manages to get out, trying to hold back his anger and embarrassment at being seen like this. “Larry, Zoe, it’s just all too much for me to deal with.” Evan runs his fingers through Connor’s hair sympathetically. “Last night, last night I had a razor to my wrist.” Connor admits softly. “I was going to do it. I was. It was so scary, Ev.” Evan’s eyes begin to fill up with tears. “I’m so sorry, Evan. I can’t find enough reasons not to die.” 

“I need to tell you something.” Evan says softly. Connor turns around and looks at him. “Do you remember last summer, when I broke my arm and you found me?” Connor nodded his head. “I didn’t fall.” Connor looks at Evan understandingly and puts his hand in Evan’s. Tears are rolling down Evan’s face now, and he is holding onto Connor’s hand tightly. “But then you found me, Con. You saved me. Now let me save you.”

/He’s coming to get me. He’s coming to get me. And everything’s okay./

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!  
> Thank you so much for reading this. I wasn’t feeling great about it, so I’m really sorry if Connor was OOC.  
> Please comment with feedback so I can improve, and give this work kudos if you liked it!  
> (It’s fine if you don’t, you don’t have to if you don’t want to. Sorry I’ll stop now.)


End file.
